There's always That Month

Not that any month should be avoided

September for a lot of people is probably a Hard Month to handle for tragic anniversaries.

[posted nearly a year later. Because]
Here, we have a birthday and a mother's death to get through.

The other weegen, there was pizza Friday, and some beer Satdee with 'some' friends for #2Son annual birthday celebration, a bit of fun had by all. So that's the good side of September.

And then there is the the rest of the month.

Morning 20th, a call from Aunty D, "oh Tone,can't stop think...". Unfortunately, I had managed to avoid remembering that morning, so it was a little dig in the ribs for me- "Shit!".

Taking the kids to the grave site of their mum the last couple of years is getting more painful for them, especially my twin gels. We used to go with their grandfather, but I can see that is getting too much for him too. [This is de ja vu too]

Mid afternoon 20th September. One of the boys was home, from the Big Smoke, the other was missing calls on his cellphone "To Get Home Now, we are Going out" , and there was a visit from Aunty and Pop later in the afternoon. #2 missed the visit.

I would like to get through this visit quietly and, well, not quickly, but at least put the effort in to dust down the tombstone and place fresh garden flowers there. We took some Jasmine and Azaleas, the Jasmine Tarn's favourite thing about the house she chose for us to live in and raise our kids.

A nice remembrance from myself or #1Son might have cheered the gels up, but none came forth this time. Sorry gels.

On the other hand, as #1Son said- spooky because:

Twenty nine years ago this month's end, I had to part with Tarn to start an oilpatch career, which lasted to 1999, on the other side of the country. She did join me there though the next year, and we stayed together where ever I had to work, Perth to Adelaide to Scotland to Melbourne to Gippsland. 

Twelve years ago this month I started another new career path, paused with a Huge Hiccup, and continued with family support. 

Ten years this month ago I had to stop that job and stay at home with the kids, for their sakes and mine. 

By the end of this month, I may be starting down a new career path in the oilpatch, and having to leave teenage girls and a young man in their aunt's care while some money is made and separation anxiety is fought. Finger crossed, September could be a neutral month this year. But is it chicken and egg counting, argh.

Salt and water and Eisteddfod Winner

Salt and water and
Eisteddfod Winner

The last few weeks have been a little slow...
The kids have been up to different things, and getting sick in turns.
I have enjoyed playing CivIV and keeping out of the way at home, and getting annoyed at the weather reports where I am missing a good sailing session again...

The other day I followed one of the twins down the hall.
And? They are young ladies now... nearly as tall as me...
Last week after I dropped one child somewhere, I pondered, wow, will I get to be a grandparent in the not too distant future? I mean, I welcomed fatherhood.

Ach vell, the veeks dat vas:

Last fortnight, Son#2 came down with a head cold, as you do when out with friends partying. Oh dear. Against my better judgement, but at least I know what is going on. Or Do I? And he has had to sleep in, well past lunchtime the last two weegens. And he's reducing my hangover cure pills by a smallish but noticeable margin... I hope the crap on the telly about fining and or actually jailing parents for letting kids drink at home is not true. But, avid risk avoider as I am, I am not letting the partying go on around here if it ever it comes up, I mean, the nanny state is going too far! And then I find out he said NO to a small job coming up, I do not think he has any other commitments except PAYING HIS MOBILE PHONE BILL ON TIME.

Speaking of bloody mobile phones- we tried to sort out the gels pre-paid accounts, what a rort! Cheaper this way or the same that way, but far too many plans... At least we can call each other for free. Oh wow, 21st century has arrived, pack the string and cans away. I really hope they appreciate they get to talk or message while I miss out on going speedsailing! Then I tried to get a new broadband plan... See my other posts... maybe I should get rid of ALL the phones and rely on the land line. HAHAHAHAhahaha, nope. Don't fink so...

The Eldest twin, Gel#1a, by a minute or so... was in a few Eisteddfod items locally last week, with the school band and the sale city band. Cos I wanted her to do something (a test) at a school rehearsal time without knowing How Important It Was to Attend the Final Rehearsal, she missed one performance out of three on the Thursday. Some teachers really piss me off. Anyway. At least they all did really well. And then the city band won its section, and they won another section the following Sunday, so all in all, she has fitted in really well with two great groups. And she accomplished it all with a cold she probably picked up from Son#2... Now all she should be keeping up is practise.

Now Gel#1b, the younger twin, has decided that the music scene as far as piano or brass is not up her street, is not doing any so maybe will miss out, at least she can read music! Also, she has not picked up a cold as such, but does have a funny eye, and a funny heel bone... So she missed out on a cross country run where her twin came fourth, ah well. Salt and warm water eye rinses and dry eye drops, all I can do, as so far, have not got a GOTTA TAKE ME TO THE DOCTOR NOW DAD.

Another week down..

Am I over the parenting.
This week? Or Overparenting?

After nearly twelve years, my twins are pretty much on their way to a brave new world... I gave them the responsibilities of looking after a prepaid mobile phone contract. On their own phones... Each... But I still won't let them have a FazeBuk or Hortmael accounts as yet- unlike the boys where they just did it without authorisation from me- I still have some sway over the twins. So far. And I find myself lecturing and hectoring them all more than ever too. After all, it does cost too much when they have the face-time thingo on ipods as well! The phones are for me and them to be in touch, not for socialising. I hope.

The second son is still doing the ballroom dancing lessons for the debutante ball, coming up soon. His partner is working, at critical lesson stages, so there is tension in the air... The poor bugger not only has to learn to cope with that, but also to live and phone on a reduced budget- his restaurant job has come to an end due to the economy... I think he really does want to work in that line too, maybe he will be out and about from school at the end of the year, against my better judgement. But he will be driving and voting within only two years.

This week was a primary school garden party, one that I thought I would not have to go to anymore after being to it each year since 1998, but... As Gel#1A is staying on in the town brass band, they wanted her to play for the annual Maypole Dance at the school they left last year. Oh well. Gel#1B was dragooned into doing face painting too.

My ability to live on the smell of an old oily rag is being sorely tested. I was going over some budget stuff from a few years ago, and it looks like we will have to tighten the belts more, unless a new job just pops up out of nowhere. This month being birthdays, water bills, regos*, holidays and deb balls and all, it's frightening. Spending more on communications than insurances! Time on the job is up, but the rates are the same... Productivity can only go up if there is more work available, and the contacts say, nah, sorry. Argh.

The plus side is shampoo. It looks like using Head & Shoulders® brand has done more than fix the family scalps. I really think that other brands tend to put something like a fertilizer in the air for the moulds on the wall and weed and tree roots in the drains! Since Xmas, the bathroom walls are definitely better than they were. And, indeed, I have not had to do the plumbing- touch wood- the cleaning of the drains for a while either- or... What is in that brand of shampoo that mould and roots do not like....? Whatever! Hope it is bad for that and good for us! Have to add on that using 1/4 teaspoon of Oil Of Cloves/liter sprayed on the walls is also helping. Now I will have to get a paint suitable for the littlest room in the house. Actually, it really ain't that small! Onto the bottom of the list, I realise, as I still have some other renovations to do first- soft wood on the weather side...



*vehicle registration, etc

A Showery

Blurb to the Masses About
Hairy Plugholes...

Deserving some pat on the back, or cash, for a hair washing cure! YouHaveToLaugh at this one, or commiserate!

Having some complaints from some of my immediate family descendants growing up around me the past year, ie my kids, we have swapped to a well known brand of shampoo and conditioner, as some of us keep getting "rashes" from nearly every kind of shampoo and conditioner I contrive to either luxuriate in or save money on.

I kept saying- "Water too hot", "Too long in there", and "Really? Show me, nah, can't see it".

Well, actually, I think after using a well known brand or the Aldi sort-looka-like, the complaints from the bleachers have all but disappeared!

And even the plug hole has been clear of all detritus! Hair I mean. No long ones, grey ones, or short ones. Since start of the year anyway, that I recall. I used to pick the junk out and slap it in a corner and forget about it, and do it again, and manage to collect a fair amount each week. The WeirdOrWhat dirty left behinds are gone, hooray.

Being the sole cleaner stay at home dad, I used to get tired of the ankle deep tepid water gathering at my feet, thanks to the collecting "human hair balls" in the shower.. Laziness and necessity and money, cures all ills?

Figured after a year I could maybe call a hair saloon that creates wigs.

Not any more. Cured and Clean and Happy all round. Some trivial but absolutely riveting and amazing facts of our life.

One bad call for the week was, also to do with the bathroom, that there must be a leak under the handbasinsink, cos all the spare bars of new soap, including the expensive pandering ones were in a container, that collected the leak... Fifteen bucks worth of soapy waste... argh.

When it is ready

And the weather suitable
or not... won't matter.
It is solar heated.
With a view- stuff the sea side mate!


I may have to beg borrow steal or Buy this place.
For the kids of course.
Once it is ready and the bar is pre-stocked too...

Tarn's Garden Grows

As the time goes by
But Her Garden Plan does Modify

Yep. Sad to hear, but what She Wanted is not set in concrete. yet
As far as a garden replacement goes, though, I do dream...

Tarn's idea of an ideal home for us and our kids was a Classic Victorian Style.

That she found.
And my offshore superintendent allowed me to return back to shore for a Lunchtime Hoose Inspection.
That's co-operation for you! And was Tarn pleases and surprised about that.
No more than me...
Must be my...?
I said Yeah, it has a cellar, garage, shed etc, why not? The bank took three weeks and said yeah, why not?
AND

She was Pleased...

High ceilings [for the spiders to hide? Tarn hated spiders!]
Bullnose Veranda. [more hidey holes]
A Garden. [tons of hidey holes]   [btw- guess who was the designated garner...]
Dishwasher. Anyway, a spot for...
Fireplaces.
Ensuite.

The last item was never considered in original CVS hooses.
But her idea here was to put one on the veranda.
NO way I said. Preposterous!
I was just thinking of the new garden that would have to be prepared after the plumbers had to remove the nice pleasant one ensconced at the time. Too much... But then, may have renewed the waste water pipes...

My idea of a home was ... a shelter? No lawns...

Anyway, on top of yesterdays horribiluus-ness [weather, date].

I went to smell the flowers- NO- the sight of our garden blooming away, all by itself, caught my attention.
And thus was late for work while I took a couple of garden snaps to remind me what Tarn had found for us.

I have taken out a lot of plants that were not coping with the minimal care required but not given, and drought conditions did not help some of the plants. I added a mandarin tree, and some lavender & azaleas, and transplanted the white roses she had in large pots- the wind ruined one pot...
I missed the semicircular display this year by a week, bugger. Some larger unruly shrubbery has also been sent to Coventry too, I mean the bonfire. Too old and raggedy. The side hedge may end up that way too if it fails to spruce up by xmas.

Me and #2 might put in a little veranda/sunshade area out back by then too, some where out of sight- like the round the house veranda is a bit exposed to the hoi polloi...

And I thought I better add these two, with their mates at Ballarat.

Just another..Day

Another Anniversary
Thank you to those that have acknowledged it.

I won't be taking the kids out to the plot today. So far.

It's cold and wet, I have a cold, and too much a reminder of the funeral day

The last time, the gels were upset, not sure how they got that way, maybe my vibes were bad and catchy.

I think the feelings get harder to bear each passing year- but it's only a day. Or Week. And it passes.

Tarn would be pretty chuffed to see where we are at present. Not up our selves or struggling too badly.

The eldest child all adult like and pursuing a life much like we had ourselves so many years ago, that was such a great time. It is weird not having him as the rock around the house- a sure thing as a sounding stone, let's hope he does well this first year away.

The second child is also becoming such a new responsible young adult too, a couple of after school jobs, a smart beautiful girlfriend, and he is actually liking some school subjects. His aim at this time is to work to live- GF, skate, bike, iphone... Doing some work experience at a cafe this week...

And the gels are so close to becoming young women, it is scary. A very social pair, they are the best-est ever friends. But they are not getting phone or FB until later on next year if I can help it, the telephone and Facetime are getting enough of a workout at this time.

I retreat more and more to books, the net and telly, but also wanting to take off with them somewhere. Plans of mice and men. Obligations. Needs and wants. Have to things and Cannots.

Reintroduce Family Custom

The Old Sunday Ritual
Sock Sorting


Saturday is alright for washing, eh?
And trying to be organised- the "Do As I Say Not Do What I Do" class.


This particular weegen, for some 'weird' reason, a realisation.


Arising from the dead slumber of a sleep-in,
getting out of the system the usual Satdee morning ritual of
screaming
"dirty clothes! dirty clothes!"
at the TV zombies and at the
teen that had had a late night, and
before a cold coffee
[filled but forgot to Boil the kettle before sitting down for brekky After Hanging Out some washing], and
while hanging out the washing...


I realised I may have overlooked a key element in the accruing of millstones around my neck...


There was TOO MANY SOCKS TO HANG OUT. Why?


Three kids and me, say, a pair of socks each per day- 28 pairs- say nearly 60 actual socks? Okay 56... 5x3=30 white school socks, plus me and weegen stuff... should be less than 56!


As the socks came out of the laundry basket to be hung up, I realised that there was MORE than usual...
So I started counting- [shut UP Muttley] and got to about 50 with still more to come out of the Magical Basket....And more smalls than you can poke a long long pole at!
And this was just the first load, the whites...


ARHGHGRG!#$%%^


What have I done?


Time to delegate? Why should I spend time sorting whites, coloureds and goth* clothing out, but really? Can't they do it all now? And then watch out that it doesn't rain on the dang drying clothes as well.
although does seem to actually make sense to have the Internet and the Rain Radar. Worthwhile? Oh yeah!

Thinking- a friend of the kids stayed over, so there was a quick bedroom clean up before the spare mattresses were laid out, and the lounge had a few socks in the armchair creases [Muttley, Shut Up]. And under them too...?

So then I was thinking too, if there are all these socks, should they be tested before washing that the things were actually worn? A [uhg] smell test... I just throw things in the machine if they are are in the laundry hamper... And today there was stuff about to be rewashed that were definitely not seen in the fashion parade this week that were done last weegen...

Which was followed by the [groan] idea that when the dry stuff comes off the drying line and back into the house, there should be a ritual- Sock Pairing, like we used to do after dinner on a Sunday night many years ago. I am not sure why or how I let it go, but necessity and inventiveness and better things to to do are inevitably and indubitably overcome by laziness and laizes affaire*, I guess.

So. More discipline on the parents hands... on the other hand, less screaming? On a Satdee morning? Nah, that shows we are communicating, does it not?

Sunday night for sorting sox.
And putting Away, sox.



Goth- All the black clothes, but not Gothic style.
Sox- many pairs of socks, like in a Murder of Crows, a Mob of Cattle, you know?
* no idea right context

My last one just walking by

It was her mother!
Well, not really.
But the other day, after parent teacher interviews with her big brother's teachers, I had to grab this pic of gel#1b.

My ninja!

To some this will embody her mum.

I have to confess, I was so intent on seeing that I was seen to give a shit about her brother, that I was pretty late picking up gel#1a from school band practice and there were tears again as she got in the car (2 weeks in a row- what's wrong with me?) to go to our brass band lesson.

And that made me sad. Running out of time.

Tarn would have killed me for pruning this so hard!

Reminds me of time of year- not just the garden.

I had no great words for the paper for Tarn's obit, nor will ever, just daggy run ons like this. Every week there are little paragraphs in the local paper- 'in memorium'. After the fact, an anniversary.

I keep promising me to put one in, missed the tenth, and will not put one in this year, cannot out the words together so succinctly, and the ones I see in the paper make me grind my teeth with jealousy. The next few weeks will be difficult enough, and I am sure there will be people tiptoeing around me, some that won't, and some that won't give a shit- 'dragging it out aren't you?'.
Stupidos. Bstds.

maybe here, I will say,
I miss her
She was bossy
She was good to me
She made me do it
She let me do it
I had to insist on some things, or let time work it out, but she'd come round as if it were her idea
I miss her
We were good together. I think.
My best friend, but some how I don't think I was hers. She had some good BFFs.
I was bad and grumpy, and was never put in my place. Later, so much late, after seeing that video, I am ashamed of being so selfish, and so will not pursue anyone else any more, old dog syndrome I think. Grumpy old man.

See, can't put that in a paper.

Not the cherry tree from her sister(MIA)- a blood plum in blossom

greenday

So sad again tonight


Another green stucked frac


Another birthday party out of town outing for Gel#1b for her BF at a rollerskating rink.


There was a warning, tongue in cheek on the invite obviously, "no accident trips to ER" !!


But... Guess what. First one to fall and Schnick... Just not a lot of pain. Then. But...


Another greenstick fractured right wing chickidee!


Gel#1b was very brave until hometime! 


Tears and moans, and after 45 minutes... painkiller? 


Nah- car trip...


Tell Son#2 to get dinner for himself and sister, chicken and mashed spud, carrots, whatever, I  will be back. Later.


Book into emergency about 6:15pm with Gel#1b. 


Watch the rest of the news.


See the nurse- tears on my shoulder.


Looked at briefly- oh, only one of six with fractures this evening...


Waiting waiting waiting


Some neurofen shoved in, 'doctor not far away'.


Xray- see a bump above the wrist- positively bent, but not obviously broken. Thank you very much.


So. Only 3 hours in ER, and for just a half a cast...


Home to find, Son#2 had made them some mash and some carrot for dinner...


Slow cooked chicken breast been sitting in front of him....


What? You only said mash!


ARGHHARHGH ()%(*(*()_*%#$++   !!!!





BTW he wants a new mattress-  one now on laybuy- & he wants some jeans- ordering from the states for birfdee




Save me from tomorrow

Painting painting painting

Painting with Rollers

Some one on one not really.

How does instructing teeners interior decorating sound?
Terrible?
Yep.

Results- great!

The journey... Needed to bring the ladder back for a few accidents on the ceiling borders. A few THICK spots. practically nil drips on the carpet. Skill set- new! For kids, they did a great job. And the overalls!

Is that all? Did not hurt at all!

It took 2 weeks to sort out a limp...
The limp was from a walkathon done at school for the school...


The tip TAP tip Tap down the hall before breakfast said it all.
It does hurt Daddy!
Well, I thought a sprain should have gone by then too.
Thinking back on my friend's girl- well, I better do something, she walked around with a broken bone in the foot for six months, must be a sore point with her Mum now...

A change over

But who does the Change?
And then. When it's done... what is missed.

Son#1 left the Hoose [temporarily] in February to stay in The Big Smoke for tertiary studies, sharing a place with some other noisy YAs.

He was supposed to sort out what he wanted to keep here for when he came back home and to sort the junk out so that Son#2 could have his room... He was going to use the Piano Room on his return home, not as big as his old room, but as he sleeps all day and parties elsewhere all night- only needs a sofa bed...

Uh oh, it's .....here

The Kid Doc Prog...
Looks Like "We are There"

Penultimate visit, climatic moment, the pre bit is over, now I am in for the Terrible Teen Twin Syndrome.
Fer Shure...

With luck, some nice female rels I know may bail me out, by taking them away? Or being on permanent Red Alert (hint) for the next two years. I am prepared, bathroom cupboard has essentials, and by last weegen phone calls, the bitchy part of nature is starting to reveal itself too I think. The recent sweet school photos are hiding something, or maybe I am paranoid. Since Easter..... things are changing.

Son#2 was or can be even now a sullen sob at times, and now that I have been through that shite/going thru I can see the "evilness" coming upon me. Woe is me. Why was Son#1 so easy at this stage. Or. Was. It. ? Hm.

I am in no position pike out of it either. It is somewhat amusing that I keep thinking now, "Tarn would be/do/not/hoping/glad/panic/...etc/etc"

I may even have to enlist some of the boy's female friends to find out whether I am on the right track or not.

The kid docs prognosis is [twilight zone music or gremlins?] that we, they, are officially not far off a visit to.....

Myers Bra Outfittery?

Why be a single dad, 2nd try

To be a single dad these days has not been hard. Rocky?

I am a just an ordinary SOB, and proud of it. My kids are now teeners, and show pride in themselves and look up to me, or ignore me. They are pretty resilient too. Teeners.

I accepted a challenge ten years ago, never thinking that I could not raise four kids after their mum died.

Common sense, try to keep a to a budget, all helps. Having had a stern and kind pair of parents was a good idea. Although one keeps sending me emails that I thought would make her blush 'n stutter and plain tell someone off for using that the language a while ago! The net...

Along the way people have been there for us. I have tried some counselling and medication and even tried a new relationship. All of those things may have helped steer my boat, and may not have. I like to keep some things to myself.

Still here, still going, despite personal misgivings. Still navigating a rocky stream. Still thinking I can give it a go alone.