Sunday, May 13, 2012

Sadder Each Time Now

Mother's Day for My Gels

Is getting to me

Each year, the girls seem to appreciate more the loss of a mum they never knew.

Adelaide, I think.

The last few years has been a bit gut wretching for me, to keep a stiff upper lip, to not let my tears show too much as we visit their mum's grave site, as I hold the twin's hands on her special days of the year- birthday, Mother's day, the accident anniversary.

Their grandfather seems to be affected by their moods too, at those times out there, so I do not like to invite him along at those times anymore either- I do not know whether that is selfish, but as the oldest child of eldest childs [make sense?], I try to control or have order and try to ensure everybody is not unsatisfied with a situation.

This year, the weather on Tarn's birthday was atrocious. No Visit 'Out There'. Just a little pizza night later that week with the kids and Ken and Brenda.

This week, Mother's Day, another anniversary, weather again unco-operative. However, stiff upper lip and surprise visit, whether they really wanted to or not, to the grave site with some flowers. By the time we got out of the car, the gels were teary. Another short rainy visit. Like the day of the burial. To me, Just Great. Not. Then home via the hospital to see Ken's partner Brenda, who is recovering [well?] from surgery, to give her flowers and cheer her up. Funny thing was, we followed Ken into the car park!

The night before, Son#2 came into my office, and said a little tippsily, that he really like that picture above, and where was it taken. So this blog is for him and his aunt.

For my Mum, I sent flowers, she had visits from at least two of my siblings, so I think Mum had a good weegen.

I appreciate the little things when they come around. Tarnia's little sister has lifted me a bit today, always so nice to read her blog which includes us too.

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